* An Abusive man's emotional problems do not cause his abusiveness. You can't change him by figuring out what is bothering him, helping him feel better, or improving the dynamics of your relationship.
* Feelings do not govern abusive or controlling behavior; beliefs, values, and habits are the driving forces.
* The reasons that an abusive man gives for his behavior are simply excuses. There is no way to overcome a problem with abusiveness by focusing on tangents such as self-esteem, conflict resolution, anger management, or impulse control. Abusiveness is resolved by dealing with abusiveness.
* Abusers thrive on creating confusion, including confusion about the abuse itself.
* There is nothing wrong with you. Your partner's abuse problem is his own.
Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults. Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.
Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of "guidance," "teaching," or "advice," the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones.
Hi, my name is Nancy. I am a survivor of domestic violence. It was physical, than emotional and lots of verbal abuse. I am a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner. Specializing in Empowerment Lifestyle Coaching. I am the mother of 3 kids. I love to exercise, sing, read, learn, and inspiring others to live a fulfilled and happy life. Feel free to share these blog post and my Facebook page. Leave your comments as I love to hear from you.